Whisky Mac on the Maccby Ian H Bruce (2008)When friends cruise the Macc’s muddy lineOf spirit we know there’s no lackSo mix whisky and green ginger wineAnd pour out a large whisky macWhisky mac on the Macc, with friends knock it backJokes, laughter, songs and whisky macWhen a bitter nor-westerly blowsAnd its bite feels as sharp as brass tacksThe answer as each boater knowsIs to down several large whisky macsThe dangers of consuming boozeRun like water from a duck’s backWhen at the end of a long cold day’s cruiseYou’re offered a large whisky macWhen you’re feeling crabby or stonedIf your mood is at best labelled blackYour narrowboat’s no alcohol free zoneSo drink down one more whisky macWhen floating at five one eight feetOf water there’s sometimes a lackThough grounded do not be downbeat “Bottoms up” with a large whisky macIf your boating wardrobe’s incompleteAs your waterproofs you didn’t packThink not of the rain, snow and sleetBut the warmth of a large whisky macWhen you cruise above the Cheshire plainAnd geese launch dam-busting attacksIgnore their foul bombing campaignAnd cheer up with some large whisky macsWhen walkers pass you don’t grouseIf you’re o'ertaken by everyman JackJust make haste to a warm public houseTo join friends for a large whisky macNow this teacher’s escaped from the bellsAnd the incessant yackety-yakNo more evil laboratory smellsJust good friends sharing more whisky mac The song’s author writes : After a recent social get-together with numerous boating friends, we were introduced to Whisky Mac by one of our number. Knowing no better, I followed instructions and achieved the correct proportions of whisky and ginger wine but was perhaps overly generous with the quantities dispensed. A very convivial evening was had by all and Whisky Mac has now become a popular winter tipple at the end of a cold boating day. A week or so later when those who could were recollecting this evening, it was suggested that ‘Whisky Mac on the Macc’ could be a good song title. I mulled this over and then came up with the above lyrics in which I have managed to make rather contrived references both to boating on the Macclesfield Canal and brands of whisky and ginger wine. One such contrived lyric is 'When floating at five one eight feet'; this, allegedly, is the height of the upper level of the Macclesfield Canal above sea-level. Many boaters would suggest it is usually a foot or more less - and not because sea levels are rising! The last verse is a personal one as I have recently retired from the frustrating task of trying to teach Chemistry to 'those that know everything already'.