Wet Weather Gear by Ian H Bruce (2012) When holidaying in Britain the climate demands Appropriate clothing, 'specially on the canals So when going boating, one thing is clear If you want to stay dry you'll need wet weather gear Chorus Wet weather gear, wet weather gear Repeat last line of verse, e.g. If you want to stay dry you’ll need wet weather gear If you steer your boat in tee-shirt and shorts That’s adventurous attire for this mode of transport Take on board some advice and to it adhere Don't leave your mooring without wet weather gear Avoid cool Ray-Ban shades and hot Jimmy Choos Don't let Gok Wan plan your waterway cruise Haute couture, c'est un faux pas when low pressure’s here So discard fashion clothing, don wet weather gear A colourful umbrella’s an attractive sun shade But in stormy conditions it won’t make the grade Wind assisted inversion’s inevitable I fear Throw away broken brollies, get wet weather gear Now shower-proof won't do, despite resistance to rain You'll find water running down a trouser leg drain So boatmen, wet fishermen and canal (C&RT) volunteers Splash out on best quality wet weather gear Water seeps into shoes fast as leaks drain the locks So some boaters wear plastic bags over socks But spotted and pink or black and austere Wellies are vital as wet weather gear I believe global warming's a load of old tosh It's rained cats and dogs and the towpath's awash It's been floods, not heat-waves, in the news all this year Thanks Noah for inventing wet weather gear Jacket and trousers, wellies and hat In fluorescent green or navy-slash-black For their waterproof qualities we must all raise a cheer So it's hip, hip, hoo-rain for wet weather gear The song’s author writes : Having written a number of canal songs from 2007-11 I seemed to 'dry up' and lacked inspiration for more. Ideas normally come whilst I stand on he back of my narrowboat with little to tax the brain. The 'summer' of 2012 came to my aid by constantly soaking me to the extent that all I could think about was keeping dry. A bit of a tune and some dreadful rhymes later this song arrived.
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