The Trip to Banbury by David Blagrove Oh, didn't we have an 'orrible time The trip we went to Banbury. First when we loaded we buried the dog, Fifteen tonnes of cobbles on top of him. When we dug down to get the thing out He bit our Dad on the backside, Ripping a lump of his best corduroys And the air went blue. Chorus : Diddle de dee; diddle de dee, diddly diddly dee. Ma went in the shop beside Suttons Stop To buy a trip's worth of groceries Thought she would do us an Indian meal -Boil in the bag and add some water- All the next day the family queued, Taking turns for the Karsi. Mother got stuck in the engine hole doors And the air went blue. Chorus When we got round the Hillmorton Pound The butty went up on the inside, Motor went into the outside lock, Our Kid found she just wouldn't hold back. He hit the sill a terrible thump, Dad was still sat on the Karsi. He finished up with his head in the bilge And the air went blue. Chorus Father eased off the motor boat's revs, Passing linear moorings Though they went on for nearly a mile And most of the boats were floating rubbish heaps. All of a sudden the governor jammed The motor boat went like thunder, Busting a whole ruck of hippy boats loose And the air went blue. Chorus Getting near Napton, we chucked off the bike, Our Kid straight way got a puncture. Mended it quick, then blew the thing up, Quite forgot to slacken the brakes off. First time he stopped he went over the bars, The towpath covered in dog crap. In he went, going arse over tit, And the air went blue. Chorus We pulled the head off a new cabin shaft, Trying to rake out a bladeful, So Father got in in his underpants, When they got wet they became quite see-through. When he got out to dry himself off He frightened a field full of donkeys. They stampeded and knocked us all down And the air went blue. Chorus Mother got hit on the head with a weight, Trying to pull up a drawbridge. Father was steering the butty and so Stood in the hatches and laughed his socks off. Mother got peeved and loosed off her grip, Down came the drawbridge on Father. Mother got flung in the top of a tree And the air went blue. Chorus When we got down to Banbury town We couldn't find where to empty So father went round to a telephone box Rang up the firm, reversing the charges. We should have gone to Bunbury instead, That's a place on the Shropshire Union. "Bugger!" said Father, "We've come the wrong road!" And the air went blue. Chorus David Blagrove stated that this was 'written in 1990 and not entirely based on imagination. Verse 6 owes a little to the Kipper Family of Trunch, Norfolk.' Tune: 'The day we went to Bangor'