Kilcockby Patrick Leo MaguireI'm a mariner bold and me name is Jack Doran,I'm broken and bathered, laid up in dry dock.No more I'll go rovin' where white waves are rollin'I'm anchored for good in the Town of Kilcock.I remember the days when I sailed the salt billowme weather eye open for tempest or rock,but now I'm at reast in that snug little nestthe haven of plety, the Town of KilcockChorus:Kilcock, Kilcock, where the girls are the prettiesta darlin' wee town when you know your way roundThe drink is the best and the boys are the wittiest,where in the world could its equal be found.Me last voyage was the worst, 'twas the middle of winterLike Columbus we headed South West and be WestIn a tempest that threatened our timbers to splinterand me at the tiller in only me vestShe rocked and she rolled, and soon from the hold,there came a quare noise and a heart rendin' shock!Then a firkin of Stout started rollin' aboutand it Labelled 'With Care' to the town of KilcockNow as Lucan was reached the boys finished the firkin,With me at the tiller half dead with the Drought (Droot),And soon the whole crew under hatches were shirkin'while the lightning played tricks 'round the Spire of MaynoothShe shuddered and sank on a shoal off the bank,the mate with a hatchetwas running amok, shoutin''Curse that lee shore, I've been here before,but we'll cut through the jungle and make for Kilcock!ChorusTo tell you the rest of me sorrowful storywould make the salt tears run in streams down your cheek.Sure we covered ourselves both with mud and with gloryas we trekked through the jungle for nearly a weekWe fought wit' wild tribesmen and beasts of the forestand me in me trousers, me vest and one sock.But we hacked through the bush and gave one solid rushand there we were safe in the Town of Kilcock!Chorus The lyrics were kindly provided by Patrick Purcell, son of the Irish actor, the late Noel Purcell. The songwriter Leo Maguire famously wrote ‘The Whistling Gypsy’ and ‘The Dublin Saunter’ (written for Noel Purcell). It may be that this song was also written for Noel Purcell.Among the stage, movie and TV appearances Noel Purcell did in the 30s to the 80s, he recorded this ballad of the 'horrible' journey by barge from Dublin to the 33km distant town of Kilcock on the Royal Canal. It was recorded on the Glenside label in Dublin and released first as a 78rpm record and later as a 45rpm. So far I haven’t located a recording.