The Bradford Canal © Eddie Lawler 2012 Attention all passengers aboard this boat Here’s a health warning before we start Draw a deep breath if you intend to sing ’Cos this song STINKS Now the life of a bargeman’s not cosy or easy But he doesn’t get scurvy and he shouldn’t get seasick With a boat for a home and a family for crew There’s goods to be carried and plenty to do But there’s one trip too far for a bargeman’s morale That’s taking a cargo on the Bradford Canal Chorus: Oh the stink, oh the smell You’ll be forgiven for thinking it’s hell Oh the stink, oh the smell Steer well away from the Bradford Canal It’s a navvy-built section from t’ Liverpool-Leeds Making Bradford’s connection to West and to East From Shipley Junction it’s just three-and-half miles But with ten locks to tackle takes more than a while And once you’ve unloaded at t’ Hoppy Bridge end It’s ten locks all over to get out again Chorus: Oh the stink,..... As transport for boats what’s the water was meant But this stretch of water’s a deadly dead-end Not used just for transport but everything else Especially the nasty stuff poured out from t’mills Which spring up like mushrooms along both its banks Manufacturing water that’s reeking and rank Chorus: Oh the stink,..... To t’solvent and dyestuff from t’making of cloth Add human detritus tipped neat into t’broth Which wafts all round Windhill when t’ wind blows from t’West And spreads typhus and cholera to those who ingest The contents explosive, it might well ignite By t’ Bradford Canal please there’s no naked lights Chorus: Oh the stink, oh the smell Steer well away from the Bradford Canal Oh the stench, oh the reek The odour will stick with you many a week Oh the niff, oh the pong You’ve just been singing the smelliest song Oh the stink oh the smell Steer well away from the Bradford Canal Many thanks to Eddie Lawler for providing the lyrics and recording (from his fifth album entitled 'Bradford Canal and Other Tales'). Eddie comments that this is the only canal (to his knowledge) that's been closed twice. Who am I to disagree? More information about Eddie Lawler and the opportunity to purchase his CDs can be found on his website.
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