At Brum We Loaded Sauce

by Mal Edwards



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At Brum we loaded sauce
For Wigan town of course
Far up the north and bloody miles away
The boat was loaded deep
Up at Tolcher Viddle Street
And we had to work like hell to get our pay

Me missus name was Ann
And she'd fight any a man
Any mortal soul who crossed our way
With a thought in mind
I cussed the buggers blind
All down the cut and on our way

We got to Norbury Junction
But the engine ceased to function
The whole thing's let us down at last
Still we didn't care
For the pubs just over there
And I'll let the other buggers sail on past

They chucked us out at three
I was blind drunk I couldn't see
Without my missus I did take a lash
I thought I'd done me best
But she kicked me in the chest
And I ended in the cut in one big splash

She cussed and she cursed
And I thought I'd need a hearse
As I scrambled back out on the bank
Then she kicked me up the arse
And I landed in the grass
And lay there on my face and bloody stank

Then she had me to my feet
And threw me on the boat
Untied so we could get away
Me boots were full of mud
Me body covered in blood
But Middlewich we'd have to be next day

When we got to Middlewich
I tried to kill the little bitch
So I sneaked upon her with a cabin mop
I hit her on the head
You think she would be dead
But she turned around and downed me with a chop

As I lay there on the deck
She tried to break my neck
With a chain attached to a bottle screw
It twisted round her ankle
She fell and I was thankful
For I got up on my feet and bloody flew

She chased me up the towpath
Then around the locks
She chased me through Middlewich too
It was then I saw a haven
For my life I was a saving
So I ran across into a public loo

There was only one way in
There was only one way out
And I didn't realise it at the time
She came charging through the door
Skidded on the floor
And ended upside down in the urine

I felt sorry for me wench
And went and helped her up
And I put her great big hand in mine
As we walked back out the door
We vowed we'd fight no more
And we'd boat together for all time

We're on our way at last
Though time does fly past
To Wigan we will be the next day
And then we'll go out boozing
In the pubs of our own choosing
For that's when we'll both receive our pay
Notes to be added.
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